Nowadays, having two children has become widespread, and many families have two children at home.

Two children may inevitably experience friction when they spend time together.

Parents of families with two children also have such troubles: their two children always complain to each other, and sometimes they don't know who to help.

Parents are sandwiched in the middle, like sandwich cookies, which are particularly difficult to make.

Why are some children in families with two children able to get along well, while others always like to complain to each other? Let's learn about the reasons why children like to complain to each other.

1

Why do children in families with two children always like to complain to each other?

01 In order to gain attention

When there are many children in the family, parents' attention and love for their children are not so even, and each child hopes to become their parents' favorite.

Facing multiple children, parents may also have different attitudes towards them due to their individual differences.

It is precisely because parents have different attitudes towards them that they frequently complain to each other, just to gain attention and hope to attract more attention from their parents.

02 In order to receive more love

When there are more than two children in the family, the children themselves can realize that their parents' love needs to be shared equally with their brothers and sisters, and they will not put all their love on them.

Everyone hopes to become the parents' preference. In order to get more love from them, they will pay attention to every move of their brothers and sisters at home.

When a brother or sisters does something wrong, he or she will immediately complain to his or her parents, so as to set off his or her understanding and cleverness, and hope that his or her parents can love them more.

03 To prove oneself

Many parents' love for their children has additional conditions, especially in families with more brothers and sisters, they can also understand that parents' love for them has certain preconditions.

For example, parents tend to love their smarter child more, their talkative child more, and so on.

In order to prove that they are outstanding and better than other brothers and sisters, they will often complain to their parents.

There are many families where children complain to each other, and I believe many people have become accustomed to such things.

When facing children complaining to each other, parents' handling methods are also important. The following incorrect handling methods should be avoided.

II

Children complain to each other, parents handle things incorrectly

01 favoritism towards Da Bao

Faced with multiple children at home, many parents tend to lean their hearts towards having more children.

After all, Da Bao has been with him for a longer time and is more sensible than Xiao Bao.

When encountering children complaining to each other, many parents will directly listen to Da Bao's opinions and openly favor him.

Faced with Xiao Bao's explanation, many parents turn a blind eye or even ignore their explanation.

In their view, Xiao Bao's cognitive ability is not as strong as Da Bao's. It is normal for Xiao Bao to make mistakes.

And Da Bao has grown up, their cognitive ability is relatively strong, and they generally do not make such low-level mistakes.

However, if everyone is too biased towards Da Bao, it will affect Xiao Bao's sense of security and also make Da Bao bully Xiao Bao even more severely.

02 favors Xiaobao

As long as children are on vacation at home, many parents will receive complaints from their children.

Faced with children complaining to each other, many people feel that Da Bao has become sensible and grown up, and everything should be left to Xiao Bao.

If he makes a complaint, it will be his fault, and they will directly favor Xiao Bao and blame Da Bao on the spot.

And the parents are so blatantly biased towards Xiao Bao, completely ignoring Da Bao's explanations, always telling Da Bao to let Xiao Bao do everything and not always argue with Xiao Bao, etc.

This approach will only make Da Bao feel unequal, and he will also develop a sense of rejection towards Xiao Bao. When facing Xiao Bao, he will not be able to get along well and will often have conflicts with him, which will attract the attention of parents.

03 favoritism towards son

Although gender equality is now emphasized, many families love their daughters very much and their status is also high.

But in some relatively backward places, people's thinking is still very backward.

When faced with conflicts between children at home and complaining to each other, many parents may feel biased towards their sons.

They will think that their son is the pillar of the family, and their daughter will eventually get married. It is understandable to favor their son.

However, excessive favoritism towards sons and long-term unequal treatment of daughters will ultimately only affect their sense of security and belonging.

In such a family environment, the daughter's view of spouse selection will also be affected to some extent, even their final marital happiness, but also affect the unity between brothers and sisters.

For families with two children, parents should learn to cultivate their children's sense of unity and not let them fall apart, eventually becoming like a scattered sand that is difficult to grasp.

So how can parents cultivate their children's sense of unity?

III

For families with two children, parents should learn to cultivate their children's sense of unity

01 A child complains, collective punishment

Faced with children taking a vacation at home, I believe many parents will receive complaints from their children. When children complain to each other, many parents do not know how to deal with it.

Home is a collective, and we should pay more attention to the sense of unity.

Even if only one child complains, we need to punish them collectively.

Only in this way can he understand: we are a family, one prospering and one losing.

Only by uniting can we make our home a better place.

02 Guiding Unity through Stories

In a family, many brothers and sisters will fight openly and secretly in order to get their parents' attention and love.

Everyone hopes to be favored by parents and enjoy their love alone, but this is also due to the lack of unity among children.

Parents can find some time to purchase storybooks about unity.

Then tell the children stories about unity.

Let children deeply understand the importance of unity in a family through stories.

Through stories, guiding children to understand unity can prevent them from complaining to each other and make the whole family more harmonious.

03 Encourage children to think from different perspectives

The reason why children complain to each other is that they do not know how to think in terms of empathy, let alone how to look at problems from the perspective of their brothers and sisters.

When they complain, we can guide the children to think from their perspective more often.

Let them know how to see this from the perspective of brothers and sisters.

As long as we know how to guide children, children will also understand the meaning of brothers and sisters, and will also know how to cherish the feelings between brothers and sisters.

In families with two children, children always like to complain to each other. We can master the above points to cultivate children's sense of unity and make their interactions more harmonious.

This article is reproduced from the official account "Yiyue Psychology"